Your Wild Song

Category: Story

  • The Flea Market Became a Mall — Social Media, Consumption, and Reclaiming My Time

    taken at Lake Arrowhead Farmers Market

    I’ve been trying to write about my grieving that comes and goes about social media, particularly Facebook and Instagram. As someone who enjoys thrift shopping, the two platforms used to feel like a lively local flea market where artsy vendors and people gather for entertainment. There was joy of discovery, inspiration, and human connection.

    What does social media feel like now?

    Sadly, now, they rather feel like a combination of some aspects of a thrift store and a giant retail store. Let me explain what I mean by that. Have you ever been to a thrift store where a pile of damaged clothes sit near the entrance and are priced like a steal? I’ve seen a few in Los Angeles. It’s a great head-turner for deal-finders, but it is more for DIY-ers. I spent minutes digging the clothes, holding my breath from inhaling dust. I FOUND NOTHING. It’s like doomscrolling in search of finding something of value.

    What about huge retail stores? Let’s take Target, Walmart, or even Sephora and pharmacy stores as an example. I often get distracted as soon as I enter the stores, perhaps as a sign of excitement, and forget the items I need in the first place, and what’s more, I spend more than what I really need. Does it sound familiar to you? It’s like being bombarded by summer sandals ads before I see my friend’s life updates on Instagram Story just because I looked up sandals on Google. Correct, I used Google Chrome, not Brave browser. In short, the current social media is full of noise and distraction.

    What if social media is a romantic partner?

    It’d be like a long-term partner you spent your youth together with a big group of mutual friends (there’s a community you are still part of). You frequently went back and forth with the partner with hope of receiving whatever the relationship used to bring you. However, you realized you two grew apart so much that it feels inevitable to reevaluate the relationship.

    Duh, you’re mentally checked out, but the sense of comfort that’s available in a few touches from your pocket is so scary that you find yourself going back and leaving with nothing but a sense of bitterness. It’s because the relationship is no longer working. The core value between you two has changed. You still want connection, and your partner wants monetization.

    What are the advantages of social media for content creators?

    I don’t discount the advantages of using social media. It is a powerful tool in the aspect of showcasing creativity, bringing awareness, and increasing brand presence. To summarize, it seems the platform is designed for content producers rather than for content consumers. I pursued content creation several times on Instagram (and TikTok), and I learned that the nature of these platforms wasn’t for me.

    By the way, I’m using the word, consumer and producer, as “Every man is a consumer, and ought to be a producer” is one of my favorite quotes. (Check out this article on Medium about the quote. It’s a member-only post, but you can get a zest for it.) Going back to the topic, as a “content consumer”, it explains why I feel overwhelmed by the flood of content.

    Comparison between merchandising and social media

    When I studied merchandising and consumer behavior in college, I learned retailers use psychology foundations to design store layout to make customers stay longer and spend more because their goal is sales.

    Similarly, on social media, infinite scrolling is initially designed to improve user experience because their goal was engagement, but it became too engaging to be addictive. (Check out the post of Aza Raskin, the designer of infinite scrolling, and the BBC article about it. I also highly recommend the Netflix documentary called The Social Dilemma if you’re interested.)

    Why am I leaving social media?

    The main reason for my departure is a sense of being consumed emotionally and mentally, mostly importantly, my time. I find it so hard to be disciplined with the overabundance of food at “the restaurant” which is served as soon as you enter the place, consistently and rapidly, before I realized that I didn’t order yet, and what’s even worse, I did not yet receive a menu.

    Maybe that’s why I’m here. Blog and Substack feel closer to the flea market I’ve been missing — no algorithm pushing me toward a sale, just people gathering to think out loud. I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for yet. But I’d rather wander here than scroll through a mall.

  • Cooking, patriarchy, and a new love language

    Korean Bossam (pork wrap) with fresh kimchi–everything is made from scratch.

    It wasn’t too long ago that I felt a sort of pride in not knowing how to cook as a woman.

    Say less. I know–that statement still embarrasses me.

    I just unraveled the false belief as I write this post.

    So, bear with me. I’m here to share my mind-shifting story.

    2023 — three years ago

    In my early adulthood for many years, “easy and healthy meal prep ideas” used to be my search query to find recipes that catch two birds with one stone–convenience and nutrition.

    As someone who preferred ultra-minimal cooking, I used to lose my appetite just looking at a recipe that took 30 minutes to make. My old colleagues were always amazed by my ability to eat the exact same thing for lunch day after day. For nearly two years, my rotation rarely changed: it was always either a grilled chicken salad, a turkey sandwich, or fried eggs with boiled sweet potatoes.

    As long as I was getting all my nutrients and saving time, that was all that really mattered to me.

    Image by Selver Učanbarlić from Pixabay

    2002 — origin

    Growing up in a traditional, patriarchal household in South Korea, the power dynamics and gender roles were obvious to me, even at ten years old.

    On the surface, cooking and making decisions are completely two different actions. However, my ten-year-old brain was constantly looking for patterns, trying to connect the dots between the two observations.

    What I observed:

    Male make decisions, and female follow. Male don’t cook, and female cook.

    How I interpreted:

    Male make decisions and don’t cook. Female follow and cook.

    What I questioned:

    Do women cook because they don’t have power?

    Damn, I was so dangerously credulous.

    This is how the false belief manifested:

    I don’t want to be the woman who doesn’t have power, and therefore is the one who cooks.

    It’s crazy to notice what my brain made up–the false causation.

    Turns out it motivated me to be rebellious and helped me become who I am now. That is the positive outcome of the manifestation.

    Nevertheless, that mindset blocked me from appreciating how much effort my mom and grandma put into making home-cooked meals every single day.

    Since my primary love language is words of affirmation, their acts of service and consistent gift-giving didn’t register as love to me–it just looked like them fulfilling their daily responsibilities as caregivers.

    2024 — exploration

    Welcome to the beginning of my cooking era!

    It all started from a really good pasta that one colleague brought for her lunch.

    After trying some of her food, I asked her for the recipe. It sounded easy, but there were extra steps that hesitated me from making it.

    Looking back, I didn’t know the pasta would be my turning point when recording my first vlog.

    Slowly but surely, I discovered that cooking was a form of self-love and the foundation of wellness.

    Then, I wanted to invite my loved ones to share the food I made. Cooking had taught me a vital lesson: having good food is great, but sharing it with the people you love is even better!

    Check out the recipe of the pasta in the video description. Cooking starts at the timestamp 2:05.

    2026 — the joy of cooking and giving

    It took time, but I slowly learned:

    • How empowering cooking (creating something hearty from scratch) could actually be.
    • What exactly had been blocking me from finding joy in it for so long.
    • And how deeply my mom and grandma had loved me.

    I had taken their care for granted back then, but that love feels different now.

    Now, I find myself cooking the dishes my mom and grandma used to make whenever I miss them, whenever I crave that food, and whenever I feel nostalgic about those times.

  • Overcoming the Fear of Sharing My Story Online

    Image by Pexels from Pixabay

    “Around 3 in 4 hiring managers or recruiters review candidates’ social media profile during the hiring process.”

    You probably came across this type of article on LinkedIn during the job search.

    Is that true? I have no clue, but I did have a shocking experience with an executive one time, in an interdepartmental meeting with 8 people.

    “I saw Bryan on Facebook,” they say quietly to a team sitting next to them. Bryan (a pseudonym for privacy) is a member of the agency we work with. We frequently mention his name and comments in our meetings to discuss weekly updates.

    “Pfft–what?,” the team who heard the executive’s statement interrupts the meeting. The rest of us stop and turn heads to the origin of the snicker, trying to understand what is going on.

    “Okay, look up his name on Google,” the executive asks. “Yeah, click that one.”

    Shortly after Bryan’s Facebook profile dominates the big television screen, the login popup covers the center of the page.

    To me, this episode was close enough to validate the job search advice–you want to think twice if your social media account is public because professionals do look up other professionals.

    Why do I care about what other people think about me at work?

    The answer is a conflicting desire for between career progression and freedom.

    Let me explain what I meant by “conflicting”.

    At work, my systematic and performance-driven mindset get activated. Hence, I try to leverage my time, advancing my skills and driving measurable performance to go further in my career.

    However, when I am off the clock, my focus is building financial independence. I plan to share my creative projects, document my content creation journey, and write my POV of random stuff as a form of expression here on my blog. For example, my previous blog posts were about my health related to women’s health and pursuing a different education in nutrition. My passion in this area isn’t related to what I do at work.

    Therefore, I can hardly connect the dots between sharing those side of myself online and advancing in career.

    How did I overcome the fear of putting myself out online?

    What has changed since then? Clarity and self-confidence.

    Accepting a Desire for Financial Independence

    Firstly, it became clear to me that I really want to build financial independence–the life with time freedom and money making with money (a.k.a. compounding). While you can still become a millionaire through your 9-5 job before retirement, I realize building my own income source would be more rewarding for me in the long term than working for the next 30 years or shorter. To me, it isn’t about working more or less; it’s about freedom and the possibility of unlimited growth. Once I began accepting my wants, I became a little careless about other people’s perception.

    What opened my eyes was that I might’ve kept myself private online as a strategy to feel safe from potential troublesome I might face in my career. I guess it’s my mind trying to control outcomes instead of letting them happen.

    What can be the worst scenario? How bad can sharing stories of personal growth jeopardize one’s career? The more I ponder about the worst outcome, the smaller the fear becomes.

    In addition, as I see my progress in personal finance over time, I feel more confident that I can achieve my financial goals with discipline and want to get there as quickly as possible. I’ll share the financial mistakes I made and what I learned next time.

    Gaining Confidence in Writing

    Secondly, I gained more confidence in writing. Just a little introduction about myself, I moved to the United States 10 years ago from South Korea. I used to be insecure about my English, but looking back, the insecurity pushed me more to be action-oriented and to solve problems by taking English classes in community colleges and by maximizing effort into creating the environment to practice English.

    This semester, I enrolled a creative writing (non-fiction) class after reading a memoir, Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner. Writing two stories in the class significantly boosted my confidence, and I discovered the joy of writing and sharing stories.

    Mind Shifting from Fear to Joy

    Lastly, when I ran a pros-and-cons analysis of living in fear and choosing joy–the fear of sharing my story online and the joy of the same action, the joy undoubtedly overweighs the fear.

    Honestly, they are two sides of the same coin.

    However, I’m not choosing the fear just because of other people’s perception over my joy.

  • My Uterine Fibroids Journey: Prioritizing My Health

    Image by Eduardo from Pixabay

    In the middle of my second semester at school, I reached a point where I knew something had to change for the sake of both my physical and mental health.

    Fibroids run in my family, and I’ve had multiple fibroids for nearly a decade, but I didn’t think too much of it at first. My mom and I had asymptomatic fibroids, and since they are non-cancerous tumors and can shrink down during menopause, I wasn’t overly concerned and wanted to wait till my estrogen plummets without surgery. My menstrual cycles had always been mild, with no cramping, so I counted myself lucky—until things started to shift in 2023.

    My Symptoms

    Abnormal Heavy Bleeding

    Late in 2023, I experienced my first abnormal, heavy bleeding—and it really scared me. I brushed it off as a one-time thing, but the abnormal bleeding started to become more frequent, and each cycle got longer and heavier in 2024.

    Borderline Low Blood Count

    After a few cycles like that, my OB-GYN ordered blood work. Luckily, my red blood cell count was borderline low, and there was no immediate action required other than taking iron supplements during my period.

    Still, the quality of life had been dragged down in the shadow of fibroids, which made a negative impact on my mental and emotional health as well. I was constantly worried about leaking through clothes at work or bedding at night. I made sure to carry a full supply of pads and tampons in my bad at all times. There were days I felt dizzy, drained, and emotionally off-balance. It all began to weigh on me—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

    Rapid Growth

    In 2025, I noticed my pants were fitting quite right. It wasn’t just weight gain—my lower abdomen looked visibly larger, and I could actually feel firm, rounded lumps beneath my belly. My OB-GYN had been monitoring the largest fibroid for years, and recent scans showed it had grown by 50% every six months over the past year and a half.

    ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

    I want to share the treatment options I explored—not as medical advice, but in the hope that it might help someone else going through something similar feel a little more informed, a little less alone. Please consult your own physician before making any medical decisions.

    ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

    Exploring Treatment Options

    Uterine Fibroids Embolization (UFE)

    UFE is a non-surgical procedure that works by blocking blood flow to the fibroids, causing them to shrink over time.

    Pros: Minimally invasive, with a relatively quick recovery (1-2 weeks).

    Cons: The results aren’t immediate—it usually takes 3 months for shrinkage, but in some case, it can take up to 4 years. Reference about Uterine Fibroids Embolization

    Why I didn’t choose UFE: I was ready for a more immediate change. Not knowing exactly when the fibroids would shrink wasn’t the right fit for me at this point in my life.

    Myomectomy: Surgically Removing Fibroids

    Myomectomy is a surgical procedure to remove uterine fibroids while preserving the uterus. Depending on size, location, and number of the fibroids, the procedure can be done in several ways: hysteroscopic, laparoscopic, robotic-assisted, and open abdominal. See more about types of myomectomy.

    My largest fibroid was about 6 cm—large, but still manageable through small incisions rather than open surgery. That felt like a win to me. I wanted to avoid an open myomectomy if I could, both for the sake of recovery time and to minimize scarring.

    Thankfully, my surgeon specializes in robotic-assisted procedures and came highly recommended across multiple platforms on US News Health, Web MD, and Healthline. We agreed on a robotic-assisted myomectomy, which would involve four keyhole incisions for the robotic arms and one incision to remove the fibroids.

    Importantly, my surgeon does not use a power morcellator—a device that can potentially spread undiagnosed cancerous tissue. See more about the FDA-issued morcellator guidance.

    Or Simply Wait and Monitor?

    Before making a final decision, there was a moment where I was contemplating between continuing to monitor the fibroids and taking actions. But another cycle of abnormal bleeding pushed me to take action. I knew it was time.

    The Surgery

    The morning of surgery, I was strangely excited to evict these uninvited guests from my body. But once I lay down on the operating table, surrounded by nurses and physicians, a sudden wave of fear came over me. And then—darkness.

    The next thing I remember: the cool touch of iced water on my lips and the citrus scent of lip balm. I was in the recovery room. The nurse told me the surgery went well, and it brought a happy tear with relief.

    Later, the doctor told me the surgery took three hours—longer than expected due to the size and number of fibroids. They focused on removing the largest and most strategically placed ones. I still have smaller fibroids remaining, which may grow in the future, but for now, the major ones were gone.

    Recovery

    The first night was tough. I lost 800 ml of blood during surgery, and since I naturally have low blood pressure, I felt extremely faint the first time I got up from the restroom. I thought I was passing out. Thankfully, my nurse handled it like a pro, holding me with a safety belt loosely hung around my body, calling other nurses for help and moving me to the bed. It was pretty scary.

    Other than that, the recovery was smooth.

    Luckily, I had no nausea from the general anesthesia. I was able to eat dinner that night without any issues.

    For pain around the incisions, I only needed ibuprofen for four days. Each day, the pain lessened and was manageable without pain medications. The gas pain from the laparoscopy was also tolerable—I think walking might have helped a lot.

    I took stool softener on the first 2 days, and by day 2, my digestion started working again.

    I’m now three weeks post-ops. The incisions are healing well. All wounds have closed completely, the four small ones are fading, and the 4 cm incision still has a bit of light brown mark from the initial bleeding. The skin looks healthy, with no signs of infection. I’ve been using a scar cream and silicone sheets as part of my healing routine.

    Closing: Interest in Women’s Health

    This journey has taught me so much about listening to my body, trusting my instincts, and advocating for my health. If you’re navigating something similar, I hope my story offers reassurance and a reminder: you’re not alone.

    Resources

    • The Fibroids subreddit is a safe and supportive online community of strong and empowering 19K members where you can visit to vent, ask questions, seek advice on anything related to fibroids, and hopefully and ultimately, share your success stories. Personally, this community was a huge supporter for me as to planning my surgery, especially on what questions to ask to surgeon before surgery, how to prepare the surgery, and get an idea of what the recovery would like.
    • Choosing a right physician who your instincts say “yes, I can trust this doctor” to can be a redundant and challenging process. For me, reading patient’s reviews of doctors was significantly helpful to calm my nervous system on US News Health, WebMD, and Healthline.
    • For those having an HMO insurance plan, receiving care from in-network providers is a wise way to go to save $$$$ or more. I often noticed doctor’s in-network info on the websites of insurance companies, medical groups, and even hospitals was outdated. A rule of thumb to verify the up-to-date info is to give them a call. Furthermore, I’d highly recommend asking medical providers to get a pre-authorization from your insurance company, to avoid any possibility of scaring you with high medical bills.

    Product recommendations for recovery:

    • A cute octopus pillow was very helpful to cover and protect my belly while wearing a seat belt in cars for the first 2 weeks. | Link in Amazon
    • I used a U-shaped pregnancy pillow when sleeping elevated for the first 2 weeks whenever my body needed. Besides sleeping, I loved being snuggled in the soft pillow to get comfy and cozy. | Link in Amazon
    • I used wedge pillows to support my back when sitting on the bed for reading and using a laptop. | Link in Amazon
    • I worn long boxy t-shirts for a few weeks at home. Very comfy!
    • Wearing disposable underwear was a good choice as many Fibroids people in Reddit recommended. I had 1 big submucosal removed so the bleeding and spotting lasted for about a week. | Link in Amazon
    • My go-to menstrual pads is Rael’s organic cotton pads. No chlorine, no fragrance. On top of that, its absorption is amazing! | Rael Website | Link in Amazon
    • For scar management, I applied Madera’s scar cream once a day, especially after taking a shower. | Link in Target
    • Also, I sometimes used ScarAway’s scar gel sheet to hydrate the incisions. | Link in Target

  • Why I Decided to Become a Dietitian

    How sure are you that you’ll be truly happy and fulfilled in your current role long-term?

    “Sure?” or “Maybe?” Most people don’t know. But they keep going because it feels familiar. It’s comfortable. It pays the bills. It checked the boxes. And that’s important, right?

    But let’s be honest… despite the uncertainty, we keep doing what we’ve always done.

    Here’s another question for you:

    Have you ever had that moment when your love for yourself turned into this deeper sense of care for others?

    I know for me, that answer didn’t come easy. It came after a lot of thinking and just trying to figure out what was really important.

    Why am I asking all of this?

    Because this post is about transformation. It’s about the career change I decided to make—one that was driven by love. Not just love for myself, but love for others and the world around me.

    Hello World

    Hey there, I’m Minju. By day, I’m working full-time in eCommerce—specifically, furniture and home decor—and by night, I’m studying nutritional science to become a dietitian.

    Not too long ago, I thought these things:

    • “I’m never going back to school”
    • “Chemistry? Nope. Not for me. It’s my least favorite subject during my high school”
    • “A Master’s degree? Only for a few fields required to have”

    But then something happened.

    The roadtrip

    It all started with a road trip. A good friend of mine—let’s call her Jaime—came to visit me from DC. Jaime is that one friend who always makes you feel like you’re on an adventure. She’s the type of person who really fills up your soul, you know?

    We do long-distance friendship (LDF), so when we get the chance, we spend a whole week together. This time, it had been years since we’d hung out. But as soon as she arrived, I noticed something that caught my attention.

    Jaime wasn’t drinking enough water, and her meals were… let’s just say, not the healthiest. Sorry, Jaime, for judging your diet, but I couldn’t ignore it. I was genuinely concerned.

    Why? Because I care about her. I want to have many more adventures together—adventures that are only possible if you’re feeling your best. And let’s be real, health is the foundation of all of that. It truly is.

    ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

    Side Notes: Visiting Sedona and Antelope Canyon had been on my 2024 vision board for months, and I finally made it happen with a road trip. I even put together a vlog to capture the experience — just a heads-up, there’s no talking or face shots, but I added subtitles instead. So, turn on the subtitle and enjoy!

    Watch the roadtrip vlog

    ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

    Expanding love

    I’ve always cared about my own health. I’ve always made sure I’m eating well and staying balanced, but it was always about me. But something shifted during that trip. I realized that my care for Jaime went deeper than just friendship. It was like this deep love, and I wanted to help her make better choices.

    That’s when I realized something.

    Why become a dietitian?

    Let’s talk about something we all deal with: conflicting health advice online. One day something’s good for you, the next it’s bad. There’s so much noise, and it can get confusing.

    I am in the same boat. I have so many questions, and I want to get to the truth. I know that to help people make better decisions, I have to understand the science behind it all.

    Even though chemistry used to be one of my least favorite subjects, I realized it is the key to cutting through the noise and misinformation and finding the answers I need.

    That’s why I decided to study nutrition—not just for me, but to help others to make healthier choices.

    Embarking on a long term journey

    So, what does this all mean?

    It means that change doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes it’s gradual. And it’s not always easy to see, but it starts with something simple: caring for yourself, caring for others, and making decisions that are true to who you are.

    That’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m embracing this change, this new chapter in my life, and I couldn’t be more excited to see where it takes me.

    What’s next?

    I’ll be sharing my journey and practical tips for those who juggling careers and education, and maintaining a healthy lifestyle in my blog, like:

    • 5 Tips to Manage School and Work Full-Time
    • My Journey to Breaking Stress Eating
    • What to Expect When Going Back to School at 30s
    • Sober Curious and the Benefits of Taking a Break from Alcohol

    Subscribe to my newsletter to stay in connect.

    Here is a parting question for you: “What is one thing you can do today to show love for yourself, and how might that love impact your life and those around you?”

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