It wasn’t too long ago that I felt a sort of pride in not knowing how to cook as a woman.
Say less. I know–that statement still embarrasses me.
I just unraveled the false belief as I write this post.
So, bear with me. I’m hear to share my mind-shifting story.
2023 — three years ago
In my early adulthood for many years, “easy and health meal prep ideas” used to be my search query to find recipes that catch two birds with one stone–convenience and nutrition.
As someone who preferred ultra-minimal cooking, I used to lose my appetite just looking at a recipe that took 30 minutes to make. My old colleagues were always amazed by my ability to eat the exact same thing for lunch day after day. For nearly two years, my rotation rarely changed: it was always either a grilled chicken salad, a turkey sandwich, or fried eggs with boiled sweet potatoes.
As long as I was getting all my nutrients and saving time, that was all that really mattered to me.
2002 — origin
Growing up in a traditional, patriarchal household in South Korea, the power dynamics and gender roles were obvious to me, even at ten years old.
On the surface, cooking and making decisions are completely two different actions. However, my ten-year-old brain was constantly looking for patterns, trying to connect the dots between the two observations.
What I observed:
Male make decisions, and female follow. Male don’t cook, and female cook.
How I interpreted:
Male make decisions and don’t cook. Female follow and cook.
What I questioned:
Do women cook because they don’t have power?
Damn, I was so dangerously credulous.
This is how the false belief manifested:
I don’t want to be the woman who doesn’t have power, and therefore is the one who cooks.
It’s crazy to notice what my brain made up–the false causation.
Turns out it motivated me to be rebellious and helped me become who I am now. That is the positive outcome of the manifestation.
Nevertheless, that mindset blocked me from appreciating how much effort my mom and grandma put into making home-cooked meals every single day.
Since my primary love language is words of affirmation, their acts of service and consistent gift-giving didn’t register as love to me–it just looked like them fulfilling their daily responsibilities as caregivers.
2024 — exploration
Welcome to the beginning of my cooking era!
It all started from a really good pasta that one colleague brought for her lunch.
After trying some of her food, I asked her for the recipe. It sounded easy, but there were extra steps that hesitated me from making it.
Looking back, I didn’t know the pasta would be my turning point when recording my first vlog.
Slowly but surely, I discovered that cooking was a form of self-love and the foundation of wellness.
Then, I wanted to invite my loved ones to share the food I made. Cooking had taught me a vital lesson: having good food is great, but sharing it with the people you love is even better!
Check out the recipe in the video description. Cooking starts at the timestamp 2:05.
2026 — the joy of cooking and giving
It was love when my grandma made sujebi and hand-grinding apple juice.
it was love when my mom made dinner every single day after her 9-5.
It took time, but I slowly learned:
- Just how empowering cooking could actually be.
- Exactly what had been blocking me from finding joy in it for so long.
- And how deeply my mom and grandma had loved me all along.
I had taken their care for granted back then, but that love feels different now.
Now, I find myself cooking the dishes my mom and grandma used to make whenever I miss them, whenever I crave that food, and whenever I feel nostalgic about those times.
Leave a Reply