I’ve been trying to write about my grieving that comes and goes about social media, particularly Facebook and Instagram. As someone who enjoys thrift shopping, the two platforms used to feel like a lively local flea market where artsy vendors and people gather for entertainment. There was joy of discovery, inspiration, and human connection.
What does social media feels like now?
Sadly, now, they rather feel like a combination of some aspects of a thrift store and a giant retail store. Let me explain what I mean by that. Have you ever been to a thrift store where a pile of damaged clothes sit near the entrance and are priced like a steal? I’ve seen a few in Los Angeles. It’s a great head-turner for deal-finders, but it is more for DIY-ers. I spent minutes digging the clothes, holding my breath from inhaling dust. I FOUND NOTHING. It’s like doomscrolling in search of finding something of value.
What about huge retail stores? Let’s take Target, Walmart, or even Sephora and pharmacy stores as an example. I often get distracted as soon as I enter the stores, perhaps as a sign of excitement, and forget the items I need in the first place, and what’s more, I spend more than what I really need. Does it sound familiar to you? It’s like being bombarded by summer sandals ads before I see my friend’s life updates on Instagram Story just because I looked up sandals on Google. Correct, I used Google Chrome, not Brave browser. In short, the current social media is full of noise and distraction.
What if social media is a romantic relationship partner?
It’d be like a long-term partner you spent your youth together with a big group of mutual friends (there’s a community you are still part of). You frequently went back and forth with the partner with hope of receiving whatever the relationship used to bring you. However, you realized you two grew apart so much that it feels inevitable to reevaluate the relationship.
Duh, you’re mentally checked out, but the sense of comfort that’s available in a few touches from your pocket is so scary that you find yourself going back and leaving with nothing but a sense of bitterness. It’s because the relationship is no longer working. The core value between you two has changed. You still want connection, and your partner wants monetization.
What are the advantages of social media for content creators?
I don’t discount the advantages of using social media. It is a powerful tool in the aspect of showcasing creativity, bringing awareness, and increasing brand presence. To summarize, it seems the platform is designed for content producers rather than for content consumers. I pursued content creation several times on Instagram (and TikTok), and I learned that the nature of these platforms wasn’t for me.
By the way, I’m using the word, consumer and producer, as “Every man is a consumer, and ought to be a producer” is one of my favorite quotes. (Check out this article on Medium about the quote. It’s a member-only post, but you can get a zest for it.) Going back to the topic, as a “content consumer”, it explains why I feel overwhelmed by the flood of content.
Comparison between merchandising and social media
When I studied merchandising and consumer behavior in college, I learned retailers use psychology foundations to design store layout to make customers stay longer and spend more because their goal is sales.
Similarly, on social media, infinite scrolling is initially designed to improve user experience because their goal was engagement, but it became too engaging to be addictive. (Check out the post of Aza Raskin, the designer of infinite scrolling, and the BBC article about it. I also highly recommend the Netflix documentary called The Social Dilemma if you’re interested.)
Why am I leaving social media?
The main reason for my departure is a sense of being consumed emotionally and mentally, mostly importantly, my time. I find it so hard to be disciplined with the overabundance of food at “the restaurant” which is served as soon as you enter the place, consistently and rapidly, before I realized that I didn’t order yet, and what’s even worse, I did not yet receive a menu.
Maybe that’s why I’m here. Blog and Substack feel closer to the flea market I’ve been missing — no algorithm pushing me toward a sale, just people gathering to think out loud. I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for yet. But I’d rather wander here than scroll through a mall.
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